


Want a hug?

by ToxicPineapple



Series: Saimami/Amasai ficlets and drabbles [5]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 15:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18741541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicPineapple/pseuds/ToxicPineapple
Summary: "I don't know. I don't think I want to talk about it."Rantaro nods. "Okay." He hums. It's not like he can just leave it at that. How should he...? He thinks of the last time that Shuichi comforted him, how he pulled him into a hug. It had been so comfortable, Rantaro just fell asleep. Would Shuichi appreciate that right now? Or does he want space? No harm in asking. "Can... do you want a hug?"Shuichi's lower lip wobbles. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, alright."---Shuichi remembers something bad. Rantaro listens, and also provides Hugs.





	Want a hug?

 

Rantaro hasn't thought about it much, but he hasn't really seen Shuichi cry before. Like, there was the time with his parents, where he let a couple tears loose, and there have been moments where the detective was so stressed that he just started bawling, but all of these occurrences were usually pretty controlled. What Rantaro was able to surmise, from witnessing them, is that Shuichi doesn't want to come off as a weak.

 

 

Which the adventurer can relate to. Still, this is why it takes him off guard when, out of nowhere, Shuichi just starts crying.

 

 

From what Rantaro can tell, there isn't anything in particular there to provoke him. They're sitting together on the kitchen floor and have been for the past couple hours, and aside from the occasional remark, there hasn't been much interacting going on between them.

 

 

Since the few times Rantaro's come back and spent the majority of his time with Shuichi have been more comfortable and relaxing than really anything he's done at school in the past, he's begun to sit with the boy regularly. Today, Shuichi has been working on a case, and Rantaro didn't want to interrupt, so he's been reading. It's been a comfortable, relaxed silence. They have so many of those.

 

 

So, to reiterate: Rantaro is startled when tears begin to fall down Shuichi's face. Even more so when the detective reacts.

 

 

"Ugh. That's annoying." He pulls his sleeves over his hands and wipes his eyes, shaking his head and laughing shakily through what must be a sizable lump in his throat. "I'm sorry- you can keep reading, I-"

 

 

There's no way Rantaro is about to do that. He marks his page in his book and turns his attention onto the other boy, frowning. "What happened?"

 

 

"Stupid. It's stupid. I shouldn't even-" Shuichi huffs, and it comes out like a bit of a sob, even though he forces a smile afterwards. "I don't know. I don't think I want to talk about it."

 

 

Rantaro nods. "Okay." He hums. It's not like he can just leave it at that. How should he...? He thinks of the last time that Shuichi comforted him, how he pulled him into a hug. It had been so comfortable, Rantaro just fell asleep. Would Shuichi appreciate that right now? Or does he want space? No harm in asking. "Can... do you want a hug?"

 

 

Shuichi's lower lip wobbles. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, alright."

 

 

Not needing to be told twice, Rantaro turns to face Shuichi and loops his arms around the detective's waist, tugging him closer. It's an awkward position until Shuichi moves to sit a little bit on Rantaro's thighs, grasping the adventurer's shoulders and pressing his face against the taller boy's neck.

 

 

The wetness from Shuichi's tears takes Rantaro aback. Not like he expected the other's face to be dry, but... still, he doesn't mind. He hugs a little tighter, tracing circles on Shuichi's back with his fingertips. Now the detective is sobbing, though it sounds like he's trying to stifle the sounds.

 

 

Hesitant to cross a boundary, but wanting to help, Rantaro murmurs, "It's okay, you can cry as loud as you want to. I'm not judging you, and I doubt that anybody else can hear."

 

 

Shuichi makes a noise in the back of his throat that puts Rantaro's heart through a shredder, but he doesn't sob any louder than before. It's okay, anyway. Whatever the detective is comfortable with.

 

 

Eventually, even though he said he didn't want to talk about it, Shuichi starts to speak. "Th-This is just- I'm being silly, really, I just-" he pulls back slightly, retracting his hands from around Rantaro's neck, where they settled moments ago. (He misses their presence, even though it's a terrible time to be thinking about it.) Shuichi rubs his right thumb over his left wrist, as though remembering something. "The victim, in the case I'm working on, sh-she-" he chokes out the next couple words as though they physically hurt him. "She committed suicide."

 

 

Frowning, Rantaro says, "It's not stupid to be upset about it." But Shuichi shakes his head.

 

 

"It's not, but I'm a detective, and that isn't really why I'm crying right now. I'm just- I-I'm remembering the days when I- when I w-was-" he cuts himself off, and his eyes are filled with more tears as he shakes his head. "I don't like thinking about it, but now I can't really stop."

 

 

_God._ How can Rantaro even begin to...? He notes that Shuichi is still fussing with his wrist, and the scars there are reddening, like they're irritated by all the contact. It can't feel good, but maybe the detective is using the pain to stabilise himself. Whatever. It's not a good idea regardless.

 

 

Before he can think better of it, Rantaro reaches out and takes Shuichi's wrist, dragging it over to his face and planting a kiss on top of where he was just rubbing his thumb. The action makes the detective gasp, and Rantaro is not the kind of guy to do those kinds of things, but he had to get Shuichi's attention somehow.

 

 

"I don't have any words that can help you." Rantaro admits, not relinquishing his hold on Shuichi's wrist despite how much surprise is in the detective's eyes. "But for what it's worth, I'm right here and you're not alone and crying is alright."

 

 

"A-Ah." Shuichi's breath hitches, and he doesn't _smile,_ but his expression relaxes a little. "Thank you, Rantaro, I..." He inhales sharply and some more tears begin to fall from his eyes once again. Rantaro can feel Shuichi's heartbeat spiking beneath his fingertips. "I just need-" he pauses, uncertainty colouring his expression. "I need you to hold me, please."

 

 

Rantaro doesn't give a verbal response. He just pulls Shuichi into a tighter hug than before and rubs his back, whispering nothings into his hair in an attempt to calm the detective. This is something entirely new for Rantaro. He doesn't like watching people cry, obviously, but somebody else's pain has never made him feel such a knot in his stomach.

 

 

Shuichi doesn't stop crying for a long time. Rantaro can't help wondering how much the other boy holds in. And if he's just letting it all out. On impulse, he presses several kisses to the crown of Shuichi's head, beginning to stroke his hair with the tips of his fingers. It's always relaxing when Shuichi does as much for him, after all.

 

 

The brunette nuzzles closer into Rantaro's chest. "Don't leave." He whispers, so faint, like he's worried Rantaro is going to loathe the request.

 

 

Instead, the green-haired-boy smiles slightly and tightens his hold on Shuichi's waist. "I'm not going anywhere." He promises.

 

 

There are probably many things that Shuichi could say to that but he doesn't say any of them; he only presses tighter against Rantaro's chest and lets out a shuddering breath. It's possible that the detective is still crying, but Rantaro doesn't know for certain, and anyway... even though the kitchen floor is hard and he's not exactly comfortable, he's starting to feel warm and drowsy all over again.

 

 

And he and Shuichi have fallen asleep together more than once. It's not a weird occurrence at this point. But now thinking about it makes Rantaro's heart beat harder in his chest and he can't help closing his eyes and burying his face in Shuichi's hair to ignore the feelings raging in his mind. Can't think like that in a moment like this. Nope.

 

 

Shuichi still smells so good, and the scent is so familiar... the detective falls asleep first, but Rantaro is soon to follow, not losing his grip on the other boy despite losing consciousness. He doubts that he'd ever allow himself to lose his hold on Shuichi.

**Author's Note:**

> I've given up on giving these things good titles.
> 
> at any rate I've finally posted all the Saimami ficlets I had piling up in my drafts!!! there will be more to come, of course, but for now :)))) a return to angst to remind us all why we're here.
> 
> hope you enjoyed. cOmments. good.


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